Quitting alcohol & Your Partner is Still Drinking
What do you do when one partner decides to take a break from alcohol or quit and the other partner doesn’t want to?
Some couples start a Dry January or a Dry July together. Then, one partner will decide on moderation or go back to their drinking habit while the other chooses to continue on the alcohol-free path. This decision can be challenging, but you must remember that everyone is different. Remember this is an individual journey, be respectful and stay in your lane.
When I decided to take a break from alcohol, I knew that Matt would continue drinking. His path was moderation. It wasn’t easy at times, but I always had a mocktail or a NA alternative on hand, which helped me immensely. Matt was incredibly supportive of my decision. I was lucky, some spouses are not, but that shouldn’t deter you. Know your why and get into community.
If you take a break and continue on without your partner:
You have to do what is internally right for you.
You cannot change the other person.
You have to look at your whys daily.
You cannot worry about them wanting you to drink and pleasing them.
Always be respectful of their decision and give them grace and compassion.
Always ask yourself, “What I’m I making this mean about me when they are still drinking?”
If you are feeling left out, remember what you have in common with your spouse and others. You have to look deeper sometimes for things you have in common.
Focus on your relationship with yourself. Work on you and improve you. Don’t try to change them.
Matt did moderation for nine months and then did the Alcohol Experiment and found so many health benefits that he never went back. If I had pressured him or nagged him, he would have resisted and might not have done the experiment.
* If your relationship is abusive please seek help. We not a medical professionals.