let’s talk moderation.

Welcome to November!

Many of us want to moderate our drinking, and many people can. You know, take it or leave it. As a society, we are told there are “Alcoholics,” and everyone else is a “Normal” drinker. This thought process is perpetuated by advertising, social media, and our family and friends. So, when a person has issues with moderating their drinking, it becomes you have a problem with alcohol.

For me, moderation always lead me back to drinking too much. Alcohol would start to edge its way back in. I could moderate for a few months, but ultimately I found myself over-served.

Moderation also took so much headspace. My mind would be asking, “Are we having a drink?” When I would have a drink and then, my inner monologue would startup. “Only one?” “You said only one.” “Ok, one more.”

I started asking questions, “Why do you want to moderate?” “What are you going to miss out on?” “What is this drink doing for you?”

When I started to examine these questions, the answers began to surprise me. So I began to push back on the narrative I had been sold. You know the one, you have to drink to have fun!

I discovered that moderation or the want of moderation wasn’t happening for me. My brain was setting me up to fail, and it wasn’t my fault (or my brain’s) because alcohol is a highly addictive drug. It wasn’t my fault that I wanted another drink, and it’s not yours either.

Moderation was much more challenging than just quitting. I tried for seven years. Moderation didn’t work for me but being sober curious did work. When I got curious about my drinking, I learned so much about my thoughts and beliefs around alcohol. My most significant belief was people who don’t drink are not fun. I discovered how wrong I was - I can have fun without the wine!

When I quit trying to moderate, I quieted all the noise in my head. Internal conflict eased, and my anxiety is now manageable. I am no longer waking up in the middle of the night feeling like crap. No more forgotten conversations and lost memories. I gained confidence and the desire for real connection.

If you are struggling, I’m hear for you. You are not alone. Reach out to me if you want to talk.