am I an alcoholic?
For the longest time, I struggled with the thoughts, "Am I drinking too much? "Am I an Alcoholic?" But, the word didn't fit. I wasn't missing work, no DUI, my relationships were good, and I wasn't drinking any more than my peers.
Going out to the breweries is what my husband and I did. Appreciating craft beers was our hobby. It was fun, and it is what educated middle-aged people do in our town. Many friends and acquaintances enjoy craft beer. It is a social experience in our community.
On the inside, I thought there was something wrong with me. Life had lost that spark. I was filled with anxiety and always thinking about where we could go to drink. In fact, everything we did revolved around drinking. The only way to have fun is to have a glass of wine or a beer in your hand.
How could I possibly not drink? People who don't drink are boring. The only people who don't drink have a problem with alcohol, and now they can't drink. These thoughts were my black and white ideas about "normal" drinkers and "alcoholics." Oh, and the word, alcoholic, I just would not label myself with it.
I felt horrible like a gray filter was always on. I felt alone. Was it just me having this internal conflict? Then, I found This Naked Mind and the Alcohol Experiment and found out that I wasn't alone! I found a community of people who felt the same as me! People who were just trying to live their best lives.
I learned about Alcohol Use Disorder. AUD for short. I discovered that AUD is a spectrum from people who can take it or leave alcohol to those with acute alcoholism and everyone in between. I was someone in the middle. Many of us are. We are in the "gray" area. Hence the term a gray area drinker.
I also learned that I'm okay. It wasn't my fault that I became addicted to a highly addictive substance.
I gained the following:
freedom!
my health!
lost a few pounds!
anxiety gone!
more time!
I've also heard people say, "oh, you can't drink now?" NOT True! I can have a drink whenever I want one; I just haven't wanted one for over 660+ days. I also have done a lot of research on the risks of drinking alcohol. For example, did you know alcohol is a class 1 carcinogen? It causes 7 types of cancer, including breast cancer.
I don't smoke because it causes cancer. I no longer drink alcohol now because it causes cancer. My choice not to drink is all about having a healthy lifestyle.
Are you wanting to take a break from alcohol, control your drinking, or do you want to quit? Have you tried and can’t. I want you to know you are okay too! You are not alone. There is a way to take back control of your drinking without using willpower or deprivation. You will learn the science around alcohol. So, If you want to gain control and freedom around alcohol sign up for a free discovery call and sign up for my Free Getting Sober Curious Guide.